Cape Cod: A Wicked Pissah

It’s hard to believe it was only yesterday, since we’ve had more adventures since, but yesterday we took the day to drive from Boston to Cape Cod. Seeing as how I’ve never been to Cape Cod before, I thought it was something like a single town on the beach – turns out the Cape is a whole region packed with cute and picturesque little towns filled with t-shirt shops and cheap lobster restaurants. In keeping with our spirit of adventure, we decided to drive to the furthest, most pointy end of Cape Cod to visit Provincetown, and therefore got to see lots of the lovely Cape Cod highway along the way.

While we were in Provincetown, I am proud to say that I achieved one of my culinary goals – I ate a real clambake, complete with lobster, that wasn’t mail-ordered. I achieved this at an awesomely tacky joint called the Lobster Pot, and I wore the plastic bib and everything as I sat amongst several retirees who had just been dropped off at the restaurant by a huge tour bus. For those of you Atlanta folks who have ever had lunch at the Colonnade, you can perfectly picture the environment of which I speak. Once again, Roxie, being the only person under the age of 30 for several hundred miles, was the belle of the ball and made lots of new blue-haired buddies as she played with her lobster.


It being the end of the season in Cape Cod and a weekday to boot, we basically had the place to ourselves (read: there ain’t nothing going on in Cape Cod on a Tuesday in October), but we amused ourselves anyway by finding two exciting new additions to the oversized tourist objects list.

Exhibit A:
Although this whale may technically only be oversized from Roxie’s perspective, we feel that it clearly counts due to the fact that it achieves a critical role in tackiness: displaying the name of the place you are visiting as proof to your friends that you’ve been there. There is no fiberglass whale that says “Atlanta,” I assure you.


Exhibit B:

Although I would like to claim this is fiberglass, the single vineyard on Cape Cod was actually classy enough to use wood for this giant wine barrel. But again, the tackiness is still inherent. To enhance your wine drinking experience, this place sells most of their wine in lighthouse-shaped bottles (raise your hands if you have one at your house), which make lovely hostess gifts. Note: if we are staying at your house during the remainder of our trip, you will be getting a lighthouse-shaped bottle of wine as your hostess gift.

We also took a few minutes to stick our toes in the sand at one of the many beaches and took some cute family shots with the pretty sky in the back. Sears Portrait Studio, eat your heart out.

Today, we made our way down the coast and over the Tappan Zee Bridge to visit my buddy Jessica and her husband Neill in the town I grew up in: Colts Neck, New Jersey. We have already had an amazing dinner with them, and tomorrow, I am looking forward to dragging DJ and Roxie to old haunts that they could care less about as we eat the awesome chocolate chip cookies from my favorite local farmers market.

More on that tomorrow!